Yesterday, was my first experience attending a double funeral. The service was held for our dear family friends, Alice & Delane Harris, who both passed away this past week. I had known this sweet, loving North Carolinian couple my entire life, and my parents had known them for 22 years. They meant so much to me that I considered them my "adopted" grandparents.
Before I was born, my parents met Alice and Delane while on vacation at a resort in Tennessee. We have a home video of that moment--they were singing a funny song from "Hee-Haw" at a potluck party the resort was holding for all the guests. They were always so full of life, and very funny! They became instant, life-long friends with my parents and my older sister, Shelley who was about ten years old at the time. I grew up knowing them all my life. We went on vacations to Tennessee together for many years.
We would visit them in North Carolina many times, and they also came to stay at our house. When I was thirteen years old, I asked them to be my "adopted" grandparents. They had no children and I had no grandparents who were present in my life so we were good for each other. They were so loving and supportive. I had even stayed with them for a week in the summer twice when I was a little girl. They remodeled a guest room for me at their house so that I would have my very own room to stay in whenever I came to visit. They let me pick out the paint color--purple. They bought me a big fuzzy, purple chair to put in the room and put my name up on the wall above the bed. Alice and Delane truly were my "adopted" grandparents. They came to see my in my ballet and theater performances, attended my high school graduation, sent me care packages at college, and would often call me up just to talk and tell me they loved me. I'm going to miss that.
Alice and Delane really loved each other. They grew up together and were inseparable. I know that it was God's plan for them to enter eternity in Heaven together because they would not have ever wanted to be apart.
We learned that on Friday, April 25 they both fell in separate incidents at different locations within fifteen minutes of each other. From our understanding, Delane fell at the house and hit his head. He had been fighting a long battle with cancer and his last chemo treatment had really made him weak. Alice was at the dry cleaners at the time and also fell. They were taken to two different hospitals. We got a call on Sunday, April 27 that Delane passed away earlier that day. My dad even talked to Alice on the phone about it--she told him, "I don't know how to tell Samantha. I don't want her to be upset." In all her pain of losing her husband, she was still thinking of me in that moment.
My parents called and gave me the news, and I could not believe it. It was my final exam week at school so I tried to focus on studying and spending time with my friends and not think about it much. Alice was still in the hospital and seemed to be doing as well as possible. She was scheduled for a hip replacement surgery and struggling with depression. We later learned that she had stopped eating.
On Friday, May 2 I got up early and took my 8:00am Philosophy exam. After the test, I went to the dining hall to eat breakfast. I checked my Facebook and read a status from my mom that she had received some bad news and would give more details soon. I immediately called her and asked what happened. She said, "Oh no. I forgot to hide my status from you. I wasn't going to tell you yet with your exams going on." With just that, I knew. "It's Alice," I said. She confirmed, and explained that she did not make it. She had passed away that morning.
Thankfully, I was surrounded by good friends the entire day that comforted me and distracted me from thinking about my loss. It was my last day on campus for my junior year, and I thank God that my friends were there to help me enjoy it.
I went home Saturday and Sunday we attended their funeral. It was really hard to travel to North Carolina without being able to visit them at their house. It was eerie. The whole way there I thought back about memories of going to visit them. Those times were over now. When we got to the funeral home it really became real that both of them were gone. I've never cried so much at a funeral before...I didn't realize how hard it would hit me.
I thought back to the last times I had seen and talked to them. We visited them in March, and exchanged late Christmas presents. Of course, I did not know that would be the last time I would see them. The last time they called me was on my birthday, April 1, when I got back to the dorm from my party. Since it was April Fool's Day my hallmates wanted to play a prank on our RA so we were all hiding in one room when I got the call. They wished me a happy birthday and told me they loved me. I thought back to that last conversation with them.
At the funeral I talked with Alice's neighbors, Alica and Blanca, who had become good friends with me over the years. Alice and Delane had done so much for these girls and their family who were from Mexcio. They were a true ministry to the whole family and shared God's love with them. Alice took Alicia and her other sister Karla under her wing when they were little girls. She treated them like her own, invited them in to her home anytime, and even had an entire drawer of snacks for them to enjoy when they got home from school. She also hired them to help clean her house so they could make some extra income for their family. They encouraged them to stay in school, and Delane paid them dollar for every A they made. He was surprised when they came home once with straight A's on their report cards. I was happy to see the difference they made in these girls' lives. Alicia is now even studying to be a nurse, and I know that Alice (who also had a medical degree) played a major role in influencing her to choose this career. I grew up playing with Alicia and Karla when I went to visit my "adopted" grandparents, and I got to know their family too. I remember swimming in Alice's pool with them, having sleepovers together, drawing pictures at the kitchen table, and having them teach me Spanish. Alicia told me at the funeral that they had visited Alice in the hospital earlier that week, and they thought that she would be okay. Their brother Louis lived with Alice and Delane at their home, and even went on vacations with them. They took him in, he worked as a kind of ranchhand for them, and he was like a son to Delane. He was also at the funeral, and I could tell that it was really hard for him.
The moment that hit me the hardest at the funeral was when they brought in Alice and Delane's beloved dog, "Peanut." Their dog was like a child to them. Peanut came in and immediately recognized my family and I. Peanut used to sleep with me when I stayed at their house. Seeing him there made me realize that not only were Alice and Delane gone, but I was never going to see Peanut again either.
I want them to be remembered for their kindness and generosity that they showed to so many people. They truly lived a life of serving others. My dad and Blanca had the chance to share about their love for others during the funeral service, each saying how much they meant to them.
I will never forget Alice and Delane for all the love and attention they gave me over the years. I hope that they know how much I appreciated them being my grandparents when I had none. I will miss them so much. I'll miss being able to visit them at their North Carolina home or just talking to them on the phone. I will miss hearing Grandma Alice telling me, "We think about you everyday, Samantha," and Grandpa Delane saying, "We love you, Shug." I'll miss all the little things like their funny sayings such as "home again, home again, jiggity jig" and playing scrabble with them for hours! I'll miss reading cards and tags on presents that read "From Grandma, Grandpa, and Peanut." There are so many things I will miss about my "adopted" Grandparents, but I am comforted by the truth that we will be reunited one day in Heaven. I know that this is not goodbye...just see you later.
Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.'"